Oh the Mondays, the Mondays

My weekend went pretty well. =)

No ch hits (just bit shadows, but I got rid of them quickly), no worries, just simple, relaxing weekend with my boyfriend and the little ones, 2 guinea pigs. Fantastic. =)

Now, today is bit different.
A day to rejoyice: me & my boyfriend have been together for 11 months.
A day to worry: new pain has made me wonder if something is wrong.
A day to wonder: I was oddly sleepy in the afternoon (I fell asleep on top of my theory book!).
But most of all, a day, which made me realize how grateful I am about so many things.

As I returned books to the library, this time I did not pick up media theory books, but more of self help ones, written by Louise L. Hay. I need them right now. Badly.

You see, although I'm an optimistic person, I've let some anger made a home inside my heart by not dealing with it. When something made me angry, I simply thought that "happy people do not get angry" and did myself disservice.

I diet is healthy, but lately I've ate bit too many omelettes and little less vegetables - although I must admit that when I'm at my place, I do get my portions of vegetables, but not necessarily at my boyfriend's. I understand now that I should start to meditate regularly again (I've thought about that for a long, long time, but never got around to that) and I should start doing yoga again. I believe that this health scare is here to tell me that I should pay more attention to my life style again.

And I'm going to. I cannot trust that my luck will last! I could need some more positive energy to my body, especially, because I have to drink energy drinks to stop ch hits... Anyway, I've promised my boyfriend a long time ago that I'll teach him to do some yoga, so about time that I'll live up to that promise!

I've learned that when one faces a health crisis, everything else falls into their place. I see that more clear now than ever. Many silly worries have come and gone, health and good life matter now.

I do know myself very well. I have said often to myself, that "I'll do this" and "I'll do that" and I have spoken silently or loudly positive affirmations and hope that my enthusiam and inspiration will last. But I need more will, more faith, in myself, my goals, my decisions. That's what I've lacked. But funny, but now, this scare, made me see that I've actually had them all long! I've just always looked them from somewhere else.

I feel stronger, more determinent, more in-tune with myself. I understand, though, that I have a long, long way ahead of me until I fully learn to understand my body and its wishes. But I'm learning to listen to it and it's a good start.

We all will become what we're meant to become. We'll face everything we're meant to face to become those persons. It's not the good times, which make us, but the sad ones, bad ones and hard ones. I'm facing one lesson here, right now. I'm not 100 per cent sure what it is yet, but it will be revealed to me, in time.

But life is too short to waste it, that's for sure.