Happy Tone

It's a relief to be able to write a message here, which is finally happier. =)

The past days have been hard, sad, difficult and stressful, only few words to mention. But yesterday I already felt better. I'm not sure how that happened, but I'm convinced that my best supporters, my boyfriend and our 2 guinea pigs, played a major part.

On Wednesday morning I did wonder if I should go to see them or not. I wondered how fair it is to them, if I feel awful? But I'm so glad that I went, because during the walk there I begun to feel better and being with them made it even better and better. I cannot thank my boyfriend enough for his love and support and understanding. But on OUCH (Organization for Understanding Clusterheadaches) I bought him a little gift, a packet of his favorite, dark chocolate.

I have been trying to fígure out why I was under that much stress. I'm not sure. Perhaps that was s test to check, if I had beaten few older deamons for good and I feel like I passed. I also wondered that if it was here to make me stronger, then why? How strong must one be?

Honestly, I think that it all hit me hard, because it was all so sudden. No warnings, just stress attack from many sides. Just bang. No time to prepare. It felt like "sank or swim" - situation and before I sank, I begun to swim.

Naturally, only time will tell what will happen this week, next week and weeks after that. Maybe this is the beginning of something great, maybe a sign of things to come. I'm glad that I know now that when the rain pours hard on me, I will not turn against myslelf on top of it, but face it all, do my best to deal with it all and move on.

I had thought that I had been through already the hardest parts of my life, but this all taught me, that one will can never tell in beforehand what will happen. We can made wishes, dreams, plans, pray and hope for the best.

I'm just glad that I didn't fall apart.