Slowly finding that Christmas Spirit

Now, I'm the one at my group of friends who loves Christmas. Not loves, but LOVES. Big time. I've known to listen Christmas carols all through October and November...

But this year things have been different. I've been dealing with many issues, a lot of stress, so the Christmas Spirit has been somewhere else this year. Actually, it's kinda a shocking to see that mum and my friends got there before me! Oh yes, they asked for Christmas present wishes long before I even had thought about the matter. So I was inn a hurry to list few things which could be nice this year...

Frankly, what I really want for Christmas this year is not a thing one can buy. It's not something one can get from any shop or store. Oh no. What I want, then? Simply, I want good health. So instead of writing that down to my list, I looked up some DVDs, books and one CD and pressed "send".

This afternoon I decided to create some Christmassy athmosphere for myself. So I put my fairy lights back to the wall (they have fallen twice before) and I searched for the 5 red paper elfs I bought back in 2004. Now those elfs are in their places; 3 on my window, 2 on the kitchen window. Then I put some Christmas ropes (ok, I just call them that) to my door, table and cupboard to make my room look nicer. My room looks nice now, but the Spirit is yet to find me.

Perhaps I'll feel different when I've done most of my Christmas shopping, I don't know. I've already bought two tiny gifts for mum, but that's it. I have no idea what to buy to my boyfriend (ok, I have some ideas, but that one specific gift is yet to be found) and some of my friends are still one big mystery. Although I must admit that their wish lists made my job a lot easier. But every year one of them is harder than others and then again I could buy 5 gifts to one of them...

I burned a candle this evening. It felt relaxing and kind of comforting. Its small light gave me a lot of hope for the future. Maybe that Christmas feeling is on its way, too.