The answer for my life?

Yesterday I wrote about the burden of silence I'm feeling. Well, later on, as I was doing nothing and just relaxing, reading something else, I realized something, which just might be the answer to this huge problem.

You see, I came across a text written by John Grey (yep, that Mars-Venus guy). He wrote about women needing to trust before they can open their hearts. And suddenly these warm tears were burning my face and I was trembling. It felt like that's it!

I understood, that when Mum had tried to ask me about my feelings, I never really trusted her with what I was feeling. And why? Because usually she had hurted me badly with her words just seconds before that. And in that situation trust was far, far away. When she wanted to know how I was feeling, I was just pushed to tell and naturally, I coudn't share anything, I just cried or just watched somewhere else.

Trust is something that you can earn in time and lose within seconds. Trusting someone with feelings and emotions is a big deal. Especially, when I have avoided doing that, because of my fear of vulnerability. Now I'm with a man I know I can trust. Maybe, within time, he will help me to break this lock I have. I just have to find the courage to begin that journey...