So it's December

It's Monday, December 4th. Two days from Finland's Independence Day, five days from my "Girls' Clubs" annual Christmas Party, nine days unil me and my boyfriend celebrate our first anniversary and 20 days from Christmas Eve, when my nearest and dearest gather to my house to celebrate Christmas. It's a month full of joyful things.

I have no idea what to expect. From this week, from the next, for the rest of the month. The weekend was Christmassy, as I attended my boyfriend's office Christmas Party. We came home late and I could hardly sleep that night. But in the morning we had a discussion, which brought us closer. I did wonder if we should have discussed about things earlier, but these things cannot be forced. But when he realised that I had just seen him sick, and stayed next to him and helped him without caring about my own sleep, he understood that it's time to talk about things.

After our discussion we went to the Christmas Fair and had a great day together. We talked, laughed, bought Christmas presents, had delicious hamburgers. Getting closer to someone takes time, effort, will, love and understanding. He told me that we wants to move in with me; to a place we can call "ours" instead of mine or his. We both have lots of plates ready, heh... And that in part the idea scares him, because he has no idea what will happen.

When he said that, I understood that I felt the same fear about it. Living together means that we can forget keeping most of our things a secret. It means getting to know him complitely, as he is. It means being together every day, and losing some of that "me/free"- time. But as he said that out loud, I understood also, that my fear is gone. Only love reminds in its place and will to give it a real chance. Odd for a woman, who values her "her"-time! That made me realise just how much I do love him. At his best, at his worse.

To be honest, I had been afraid to death that I'll turn into my mother. Sure, I had traces of her in me, but in many ways luckily I am me. I'm not into changing my boyfriend, but accepting who he is and appreciating the man he is. I don't feel like yelling or raising my voice in anger; I believe in talking and negotiating until the real issue appears. My boyfriend likes his "he"-time and I like my "her"-time. I don't feel like tying someone down, but choosing to be with someone and making a commitment to him is important to me. I maybe a modern citygirl, but I have my roots in country, and I want marriage and children to be part of my future, and career on my own, doing what I love at the most - write.

I want to travel, I want to meet my ch.com friends, I want to share my dreams. Deep down it's easy to make me happy; just listen to me, appreciate me, don't put me nor my dreams down, that's about it. I'm the kind of woman you won't see getting drunk at a bar; I'm more likely found at a bookstore, reading at home, writing something, watching movies at my local movie theatre or watching sitcoms at home. I like to doll up for a party or family event, I listen to my friends' worries, I love to cook and bake. Ordinary woman.