Just thinking

I see I've been writing longer entries lately. Well, I might as well. Who knows how long that lasts, lol.

This morning I read all the newspapers at my uncles'. One of them has a long story about a family where all the women have had their first child as teenagers; 15, 16, 17, 18. As I read that upbeat story, I understood that now, at 26, I have pretty much all the important qualities that one needs to have to become a good mother.

Now, those who read this and wonder if I've catched baby fever, the answer is no. But it was interesting discovery anyway.

During those moments I had to think about motherhood I thought that I was too young, too unprepared, too perfectionist... Now I've realised how different combinations make great mums. Love, affection, time, caring, optimismism, relaxed attitude matter the most.

But I trust that there's time for everything.

What time it is for me, then?
Well, the time to stop being afraid. Fear of losing, fear of not doing things well enough, fear of getting another ch hit and cycle... and many other things I've been afraid. Fear is waste of time when it's about fear of something which might happen but it's not happening right now. Fear can help and protect you, but it can also hold you back.

So, I've made a promise to myself.
I don't worry about things I don't have a say in. I don't worry about things which have not taken place. I don't worry about ch.

I WILL handle things as they occur. I WILL finish my dissertation and I WILL get a job as a journalist/writer - and I've achieved both of those goals this time next year.

I WILL live my life and see what happends.

If I'm not mistaken, it has been said that God helps those who help themselves. And it's about time I'll help myself.