Torn between a rock and a hard place

There are moments in life when you have a difficult decision to make.

Sometimes you have to decide between two good schools or jobs. Sometimes you have to decide to fight for love or to go on. Sometimes you have to decide between a surgery or medication, life of death.

And sometimes, like this evening, I have to decide what on earth I'm going to do about Saturday. Now, deciding between being with closeones or being with closeones, there's the dilemma. It's not a matter between life and death, but still, it's tearing me this very moment.

You see, my boyfriend's brother is coming to the city and my boyfriend has asked me to spend time with him, his brother and his sister's family on Saturday. I'm going to meet the brother already on Friday, but this way, I'll get to know him properly.

Yet, I feel that I should also let the siblings have some time of their own together. I'm sure that there's plenty to talk about and I know that my boyfriend's sister's house doesn't have the space for me to stay over, too. So I'd spend fwe hours there on Saturday and then walk 8kms home (which isn't an issue here; I walk that much and more every day).

Then again, my mother asked me to take a bus (hour and 35 mins ride) to Viitasaari, our summer cottage city, and be with her on Saturday. She's going to visit her two brothers, my favourite uncles, whom I haven't seen this year yet. They are 72 and 71 and both have ill health, so nobody knows how long they are with us. I want to see them badly (before it's too late...).

Now, if I'd leave on the bus my mum wants me to, I'd have to leave my boyfriend's place early in the morning and the bus would leave 11.45 am and I'd be at Viitasaari at 1.20 pm. That would mean that mum and I would be at Rantala, mum's childhood home where my uncles' live, around 3 pm, just in time for lunch (their lunch time is always 3 pm).

Which option would you pick??? I'm, honestly, torn between the two. I had said ealier to mum that I cannot join her at our summer cottage. That was before I knew about the trip to see my uncles. I said to my boyfriend that I'd be there when he wants me to; I am aware that his brother is important to him and they don't get to see each other that often. I'm now thinking that am I selfish when I want to be with him?

When I told my boyfriend about mum's suggestion, he asked me to choose his family. That this is not a normal family Saturday people have all the time, but a special one; in fact, the kind which happends, perhaps, just once.

Aguess this is one of those moments, when one has to choose between what she wants and what someone she loves wants. I have to disappoint one person I care about and that is hard. I am very aware that once I've made up my mind, I might also end up hurting and disappointing myself. But, frankly, that doesn't matter that much right now. All my life I have wanted to "the right thing", but, perhaps, there is not such a thing at all than "the right thing", but just decisions and results.

And I just have to pick and see what happends.