Let's question everything...or not

I have no idea who was the first to point out to me the wise words "if you do not stand for something, you'll fall for anything". About 99 percent of the time I know what that "something" is for me.

After all, I have my faith, my dreams, my plans, my thoughts, my family, my love, my friends, my pets.

But then comes along people who tell me that I should question everything and anything and everybody. As a journalist, I'm ever so happy to do that. But as me, I get tired to question everything 24/7. I just want to have the faith in the future and dreams and that's all. I don't need someone to tell me that everything I've build my life on is wrong. I just won't have it.

Every once in a while most of us are being shaken up until it hits the core of our being. I suppose I went through one of those earthquakes tonight. Oh the hurt, all the tears... I hope that one of these days I will read these lines and smile, because I feel that the pain I felt was worth the good times which followed it. God, I hope that day will be here and soon! It hurts like hell to tear down walls which do not excist.

Before I go, let me say a little prayer.
God, please, bless my boyfriend, my friends, my family. May love, laughter, happiness and joy live in their hearts and minds. May their sorrows and problems turn into beautiful blessings, may all of their questions be replied. May those in pain be mended, may their tears be wiped away. May they live in love foreverafter. Please, God, walk with all of them every step of the way and bless them and protect them. And thank you for bringing these people into my life. And thank you for bringing those two wonderful little guinea pigs into my life, too. Thank you so much for the lessons I've learned. Thank you so much for your blessing. Thank you for walking with me, God. Thank you for your love, thank you for my life. Amen.

Actors made the Queen

I went to see The Queen, the brilliant movie about the times after Diana's death back in 1997.

As I walked to my seat at the row 6, I had absolutely no expectations about the film. I had, naturally, heard and read about Helen Mirren's performance as the queen and I was keen to see her work myself.

Now, I am a royalist. When Diana passed away in August 1997, I was among those Finns, who went and wrote a message to a mourning book. I also bought one simple red rose and placed that on the Embassy's gate, next to the several other flowers and buckets placed there. I did that, because it felt the right, correct and proper thing to do. I had not placed Diana to a pedestole nor see her as my idol, but I had, since I can recall, amired her for her work for charity organizations. And, I suppose, receiving the news about her death on the very same year than I had lost my own father, made the loss of this person feel more meaningful.

Back to the film. Helen Mirren's performance was absolutely fabulous. She made a viewer feel that she was the queen herself and not just some actress playing her. Brilliant! Her performance was, indeed, worth the Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award it has so far landed her. And, of course, in less than a month she is, without a doubt, an Academy Award winner. At least, her performance would be worth an Oscar.

I was also amazed by Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in the movie. He made Tony Blair a sympathetic fellow, who understands all sides and is making his way as the new prime minister. It would have been interesting to see Sheen's performance with someone who cannot stand Mr Blair, though, because this Blair was more like the kind fellow next door than a sneaky politician. Then again, this character is based on what Blair could have been 10 years ago.

Another brilliant performance was by James Cromwell, who played Prince Philip. He made his character feel believable and genuine. I could easily imagine him as Philip, and reacting the way he did. And Alex Jennings, who played Prince Charles, did something I never thought he could: made me feel sorry for Charles. He made Charles more sympatic and caring kind of person than I thought he could be.

So, I had heard several things about The Queen before I saw it. Yet, none of the articles I read mentioned how funny the film itself is. It was entertaining to watch it. It was like taking a journey back in time, taking a close look on what it could have been there and then for these people.

Some say, that the movie could have been mistaken for a documentary for a while. Well, there was, indeed, clips from past interviews, documentaries and news broadcasts, but The Queen is clearly a film, a piece of fiction. Brilliantly acted, carefully written and directed. Enjoyable experience for anyone, who wants to see what great acting looks like or what a life at the Royal Palace could be.

Thought of the Day

Peace Of Mind

"Peace of mind comes not from wanting to change others, but by simply accepting them as they are."
(Brahma Kumaris)

Ice Skating, yahoo!

When I was a kid I had a hobby: ice skating. My folks took me to the ice skating school on Saturday mornings. After that mum and I went for lunch and shopping. Great time.

Now, I enjoyed my skating mornings a lot. I do recall that the teacher changed quite a lot, which was not that nice. But the exercises were. And the music... I did not get the ice skating bug, which would have turned me into a professional. In fact, even trying small jumps made me too scared to try. But my love for the sport begun and stayed.

So when I look at the ice skating on TV I can relate to the women and men on ice. I can look back to the days when I was skating. The joy I felt back then... I can see the very same in some of these fine athletes. And yes, sometimes I do pretend that I'm there myself, skating on the white ice, jumping high and living the music.

Naturally everytime I can watch ice skating on TV, you bet I will! I enjoy the talent, the joy, all of it. I'm thrilled that the European Championships are going on. I just hate that the Finnish broadcaster does not show all of it. I recall days in my childhood when they did... It feel silly now, when we have talented athletes in the completition! And they actually stand a chance!

Hmmm, I wonder if they'll show the gala...

Little Wonders Make the Day

I woke up feeling great this morning.

I felt utter peace, calm and serenipity. I looked outside and saw a beautiful winter morning, lots of snow, but no one in sight. It was fantastic.

This time of the year my breakfast is usually one orange and two apples. I looked at my orange treat, felt the skin before pouring it away and smelled its tender scent. I felt grateful. I felt happy. I said my thankyous to the people who had had something to do with that orange before me. I said my thankyous to the sun, the rain, the tree, the ground. Those thoughts of gratitude just came.

Aguess I have understood in a new level how we all are connected. I've been blessed in many ways and it feels stupid not to acknowledge it every once in a while.

Reviewing My Life

Once again I have put my life under microscope and I must admit, the results have been interesting.

Ever since I begun zen, my life has felt better. It early days in many ways, but I feel the difference instanly after doing it. Exaple: this morning. I was tired when I woke up, then I did zen meditation for few minutes and afterwards I felt great!

On my free time, I took up Dr Phil's book and begun the journey to my past. I determined the 10 key moments in my life so far, 7 critical decisions I have made in my life and 5 key persons in my life. The results were interesting.

You see, I had forgotten one moment, which took place in my early childhood. But its impact has been with me for a long, long time. In fact, not that long time ago I reacted in exactly the same way to a situation in my life than I had done back then, years ago! Reading this book and doing the exercises in it have given me few little revelations, but so far nothing major. In general, my life is good, great, amazing. There are few things, which I'm here to alter.

I borrowed Self Matters from my local library, because I was fed up being uncertain about my goal and purpose in life. I wanted to see if Dr Phil's book could help me making it clear to me. It's too soon to tell. But I have learned more things about myself and my reactions to things. My new found peace of mind have been tested 3 times within short period of time and my new self have won all of these battles. That, my friends, is a good sign. No, it's a great sign.

So, my fabulous life, here I come!

Having A Great Day!!!

It's Monday evening here and it has been one fantastic day for me! =)

Mondays are not usually my kind of days, but I like this one and I want to keep this great feeling. For good.

What did happen, then?
Well, nothing specific, really. I just had amazing weekend with my boyfriend, our guinea pigs and my boyfriend's good friend. My boyfriend ordered us Thai food for the first time and it was great. We went to the movies and saw Robert Altman's brilliant film A Prairie Home Companion, which we both liked. We had pop corn, which is always a good thing. (Especially butter flavor, yummm....)

It's cold in here, -20 celcius outside. I was so grateful that my boyfriend's pal gave us a ride this morning. I love walking, but walking 8kms in this chilly weather would have been too much for me. But, I did walk a short walk and during it I saw the most amazing sky view: light blue, light pink and white. Georgeous!

Then I found out about that training program I wrote yesterday. I have this great feeling about that and my professional future in general. I have not written my application, yet, because I want to pick just perfect pieces for it from all the articles I've written over the years. My dear friend from ch.com, Helen, wrote about my dream job to ch.com and asked others for vibes for me. That was so nice of her! Thank you, Helen! =)

I had a great chat with mum and then another one with my pal Gwen. I'm soon going to Helsinki to visit mum and some friends. One of my pals is going abroad soon, to Italy. She's going to study in a university there for a while and she is arranging a going away- get together. It will be a great opportunity to see my friends. On that very same weekend another pal of mine turns 27. this year, I'm hoping, that I will get to give her my present on the actual time instead of weeks in advance. And mum is planning to invite a cousin of mine and his new girlfriend over on that particular weekend as well. So it's going to be busy time! Fun!

I have this feeling that part of this new feeling, this great "I am me!" - feeling is due to the zen meditations I've been doing. I know that I have not been doing them for that long time, but still, I feel that zen is behind this. And I like it!

Now, the flu I had a week a go is just a memory, which is fading. I feel better, stronger and more ME (and the best possible version of me, I may add) than I have ever felt. It's amazing. It feels amazing. I know that big part of it is due to my best supporters, my wonderful boyfriend and our two wicked guinea pigs. Spending time with them is always good for my spirits. Just the thought that one of these days some day soon I get to live with them makes me feel even better and better. I AM happy, what can I say?

I hope everyone wonderful, PF days, weeks, months and years! =)

Wish Me Luck!

Tomorrow I'm going to begin the application for training, which could alter my 
professional life, if I'm one of those lucky 21 students who gets selected.

Now, I'm no fool. EVERY media student who has some sense in his/her mind will send application. I bet there will be several thousands of applicants. But I stand a chance? Well, if they will get my papers by February 4, of couse I will.

This is MY DREAM JOB we're talking about in here. 16 months of training first, all of it I would get to work as a journalist and get paid for it! Besides, that would mean that I would have one heck of an entry in my CV, enough to make any door open in the Finnish print media world. That important thing this is. That respected training we're talking about. And the last time this training program was arranged back in 1989-1990, so it is rare. A chance of a lifetime!

So, anyone who reads this, please, wish me luck. I'm going to need it. I have the work experience they demand, I have several work samples to show my skills, I have the education, I have the passion. But most of all, I need one heck of an application and a lot of luck. So, say a prayer, send me vibes, just wish me luck. I'll be forever grateful.

zen

I finished last night one very interesting book, Zen and the Art of Falling in Love by Brenda Shoshanna.

I have been wanting to read that book for ages, so it was rewarding indeed to finally be able to read it. And it certainly was worth the wait!

I have been planning to start meditating for a while now. Thanks to this book and its simple zazen, breathing practice, took me right back. (For all those who know more, excuse me, if I'm mistaken what comes to specific terms.) I simply did it: I breathe in and out and counted numbers 1 to 10 again and again. When I opened my eyes again, I felt refreshed and full of energy. It was wonderful!

I have done zazen now in three days streight. It has already made me feel a lot more peaceful and I like this feeling of inner calm. And as I read Shoshanna's book, I learned a lot about myself and my own life. I understood few things, which I have been wondering for a while. I suppose you could say that now I got a new insight into these things and that was welcomed.

Reading this beautifully written book did not suddenly turn me into zen buddhist, but it brought a new way of looking at things to me. I must admit that I look a small try what it could be to do kinhan, the walking excercise. Simply giving these things ago have made me more aware of things, myself and my surroundings. Amazing experience!

I recommed this book for everyone. Read it with open mind and give it a chance. Who knows, maybe it will help. Hmm, it could be also one of those "when the student is ready..." kind of things. All I know is that I enjoyed reading it a lot.

Snowed In

It's been snowing for two days streight and it looks like that it will not stop for a while, either. It is kind of nice to see trees covered in white, and the ground as well. But still, I would have loved it a lot more a month ago when it was Christmas.

But it's winter in Finland and snow is part of it. Last week the news achors were worried if there will be winter at all! No more worries about that part now. The whole Europe and USA are there with us, facing the snow storms and icy roads. Kind of relief, I suppose, for those who hate it.

I like the snow, I just dislike the cold. Well, freezing kind of cold, about -15 celcius degrees and up.

Yesterday evening I walked to the city to meet my boyfriend and his colleagues for a quickly visit to the theatre, we got tickets for a play next week. It was snowing beautifully as I walked.

All that snow reminded me so much of December 13, 2005. The day I met my boyfriend. It was snowing on that night, as well. And walking the same route... well, it was walking down a memory late as well. And well, you guessed it, I smiled all the way back home afterwards!

Let's talk about movies!

Yesterday I bought a new film to my DVD collection. This one is titled Failure to Launch.

I must admit that thanks to internet, I knew about it long before it arrived to the big screen here in Finland. I had had my laughs about the title (come on, you must admit how funny that would have been if it had been a total box office failure) and my doubts about the content. But I had been equally excited about the actors (so far I've liked Kathy Bates in everything I've seen her). So off I bought the ticket and went to see it.

I have wondered often that what makes people turn up to see something and not something else? Back in my new hometown simply the fact that some films do not ever some here is one thing (which I deeply hate). I must admit that popularity of a film will not get me to see a film. Great actors and interesting story will. And romcoms and quality dramas have far better chance than thrillers and anything which has something to do with science fiction.

Films are funny things sometimes. And I don't mean comedy within the script or unintended funny moments. One can never tell in advance what movies will make it - not meaning the box office hit status - but their way to my heart. Few years ago it took one look and I fell for a film. These days it usually takes two screenings before I'll fall. That's happened so far with Love Actually, Something's Gotta Give, Stepford Wives and yes, Failure to Launch.

Some films do have this one specific moment or a scene or character, which makes it worth the ticket or getting the DVD. After all, with Rumor Has It, Shirley McLaine's performance alone would have made me get that (although I liked it in general as well). Stepford Wives had marvellous ending and, naturally, hilarious Bette Midler. When I went to see The Monster-in-Law, I thought that it had it moments, but on the second time it 'hit' me and now I'm chuckling already just the thought of the performance of Jane Fonda (she was amazing) and Jennifer Lopez had her moments as well (I just loved her miscivious look in once scene).

Then there are films like A Lot Like Love, which have all the potential, but yet there is something utterly wrong about them. But what? That one I cannot tell. I liked The Wedding Date, but still there was something missing from it. But that's movie chemistry, I suppose. Shall We Dance, Just Like Heaven and In Her Shoes simply have it. Some others never will.

Still, none of my brilliant theories will explain how my mum went to see Borat, Catwoman and Troy and loved all of them. I do get that she adored The Devil Wears Prada and Pride and Prejudice (with Keira Knightley), they are more "her" kind of films. But I suppose people, like films, will have endless level of depth, which is available for only few. Yet, nobody can make me watch Titanic again. No thanks, two times enough for a lifetime!

Soul mates

Usually, when I'm not reading about media theories related to fanhood, I'm racking my brain with deep questions about soul, unexplained connections, the power of the mind and the power of faith and affirmations. But not tonight.

Thanks to a 5-hour migraine, I feel far too washed out to even begin to read another fascinating book about the Big Issues. Instead, I watched the pilot of What About Brian?, another brilliant episode of House, and tested how my opinions relate to 1100 candidates in up-coming elections.

And guess what? Two of the leading "matches" for me were women about my age (one younger, one slightly older) and one of them had a connection to the same city as we - and we're not talking about the capital here! But, one question is left: is one of these candidates my election soul mate? Is one of them really worth my vote? Naturally, I went to their websites to find out. And now I am quite happily aware of their opinions. But the election day is not here yet. I'm looking forward to reading more before I mentally cast my vote. But I admit, one of them sounds very promising one.

I must admit that one problem did come up: will this candidate have a real chance of making through? Will others vote this person, too? Yes, I wonder that: not much, but still. I must admit, though, that usually the candidates I vote in these elections have made their way to the end. Unfortunately I'm still waiting for my candidate to do the same at the presidental elections! But I'm convinced that one of these years that will happen, too.

It's funny... every time when elections are coming up, I'm the one who finds out the info about the candidates and do all these election candidate tests and think about it. I have friends who only vote for president, which, back here, doesn't really mean that much. Prime minister, other minister and the houses have far more power in here. But I can relate to them; it takes time to find out who stands for what and who is the one who represents those issues which matter the most to you. I figure that out and I vote. Ever time. No matter what election it is. Why? Because democracy counts! One vote does matter. And besides, that gives me the right to complain about the results! If you don't vote, how can you expect that something would ever change? But when you do, you have tried to do something about it.

Perhaps the whole title of this post is odd one. Soul mate. Some do not believe in them, no matter what the context would be. I do. I certainly do. In pretty much all of them.

I suppose it's easy to say that, because I'm deeply in love with this wonderful man, who is important and dear to me in every level. I know that it's waste of time to even try to explain that to someone who has not fell in love with someone on the first sight. I know I used to say that I believe in it, but truly I didn't think that I could be so lucky that it would happen to me. But when my boyfriend walked into the church yard on that December night, I knew.

I read years ago, that soul mates simply recognize each other. That they cannot really explain what specific it is, but there is something special about that other person. And then they just keep on trying to figure it out rest of their lives, being blissfully happy in the meantime.

Still, I didn't expect this man to love guinea pigs as much as I do. But during these months we've been taking care of twoo little ones, Eetu and Kasper, I've realized that he's my soul mate in that way, too. Yesterday evening we were holding each guinea pig and cutting their nails little shorter. It was so sweet to see these little animals on his lap and in his hands. And we complitely worked as a team when the bigger one, Eetu, tried to escape and fall from the sofa. Together we managed to prevent that and prevent Eetu from getting hurt. It was slightly scary, but still, as a whole, the experience felt like a family moment. I know how silly it sounds, but that's how it felt.

And naturally now I'm smiling just to the idea that one of these days I will get to be with my boyfriend and our guinea pigs each day. Naturally it's hard to tell how long it will last until we'll find an appartment which we both like, but any day between today and forever will be, in my books, soon.

Welcome 2007!

Welcome New Year. Welcome, 2007!

So, new year is here. 360 and few days more of new things, new events, new promises. Even though I haven't made any resolutions since forever. Actually, I cannot even recall what New Year's Eve I did a resulution or few for the last time! And naturally, I cannot recall either, what that resolution was nor if it come true.

But still, a new year makes one's mind excited, ready for anything and everything and suddenly there's hope and new strength. I suppose having a new year makes it all bit different, no matter how much or little one's life would actually change during the weeks and months to come. But it makes things possible. That's why so many promise to quit smoking/drinking/taking drugs or decide to lose weight/change a job/get one/take a trip/find love/whatever.

For me, not making resolutions means that I make decisions and goals all year around. Just because it's not 2006 anymore but 2007 doesn't change that. I have few ideals, few dreams, few goals and plans and a wonderful man to share them all with. Plus two "little ones", our guinea pigs.

I recall a song from the musical Sunset Boulevard, in which a bunch of actors were singing about their dreams and hopes for the new year and in the end of the song they mentioned, "hope we're not saying these things this time next year". There's a seed of truth in those words; some of us make decisions, which do not last that long. Resolutions, which are forgotten long before even January ends! And I don't want to live my life that way. That's why I'm careful with mentioning what I dream about. It's so much better to talk about dreams when one has already achieved them!

Now, let's raise a toast to the new year. May 2007 make dreams, hopes, wishes, plans and goals true, possible and reality! May 2007 be a PF year!