Changes in the Shadowlands

Here I am, feeling shadows, wondering if I should run to get a caffeine tablet from the cabinet or can of energy drink from the fridge... Aguess I'll wait 2 seconds to figure out if the pain fades or gets worse by the minute. We shall see, 'cos I don't feel like moving.

Silly me, I know.

My life has been shadowlands for quite a while now, and I've, in a small way, got used to it. I thought that things would change, on their own, if I would be patient enough. But then came the Helsinki visit, which proved me wrong.

Lately I've visited my home city twice. On the first visit I stayed for few days and understood what I was missing: me. I had left myself on hold, and forgotten that I do deserve all those great, wonderful things I had been just dreaming about. The difference hit me in the face, so to say, out of the blue. And, as surprisingly, I understood that I was coming out of the shadows, slowly, and looking at the light.

This is me. This is what I want.

And I knew that, once again, this could mean lots of changes into my life.

The trouble with changes is that they can be whatever. But, this time around, I'll put my trust in the Backstreet Boys' lyrics from Time, in which they sing that change can be so good.