I DO matter, even on rainy days

I'm having one of those sad, down, lonely days...

It's raining outside, which makes it even worse.

There are so many things I could vent about right now...but the thing is, now that I'm writing this, I don't want to anymore. Those tears I cried a moment ago made me feel better. Not cheered up, but better.

It was kind of sad to realize that I wanted to call someone, but when I stared at the phone, I could not figure out who to call. So I didn't call anyone. It felt unfair to burden my boyfriend, those pals who have problems of their own or my mother, who is not always supportive when I desperatily need her to be.

Right now I would need hugs, supportive words, funny pics, just someone who is 100% on my side. No critisism, no rationalising the situation, no negative remarks. Just plain support and optimism. I feel that I'm empty and I have nothing to give. That I'm nothing and I don't matter...

I know that in few hours I'm fine again. And I know that people appreciate me and value me and my opinions. I just don't feel that way right now. I just want to cry, sleep, talk to someone to understands!!!!

I know that this shall pass... I just wish that I'd be there already, you know?